- Trip Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for having clumsy feet.
- Shove Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for getting in your way.
- Punch Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for cutting your fist with his cheekbones.
- Lick Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for tasting weird.
- Bite Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for bleeding in your mouth.
- Fuck Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for getting you pregnant.
- Kill Tom Hiddleston, he apologizes for sending you to jail and not inviting you to his funeral.
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those actually sound like things i would do…
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